Growing lilies can be both rewarding and a bit challenging, so you're definitely not alone in encountering these issues. For buds not opening, as mentioned, it could be tied to watering habits. Another factor might be the temperatures at night—lilies, particularly Oriental varieties, can be sensitive to cooler temperatures, which might impact bud development.
Yellowing leaves might be due to a few reasons. Overwatering can indeed cause root rot and nutrient issues, so it's worth ensuring your soil drains well. If your lilies are getting plenty of sunlight, consider testing your soil’s pH and nutrient levels. Lilies generally prefer slightly acidic to neutral soil, with a pH of around 6.5.
Fertilizer-wise, it's generally good to feed lilies with a balanced fertilizer like a 10-10-10 formula, but some gardeners find that a slightly higher phosphorus level helps with flowering. Apply it in early spring when the first shoots appear and once again before flowering.
For aphids, neem oil is a great natural remedy. It’s safe for most plants and disrupts the life cycle of pests. Another method is a simple soapy water spray, which can also deter them effectively. Encouraging natural predators like ladybugs and lacewings in your garden can also help keep aphid populations down.
Remember, each gardening space can be unique, so observing how your plants respond to these strategies will be key. Keep experimenting, and soon you'll find the right balance for your lilies!